Yesterday was my lazy day. Have lots of things to do, until I don't know which one I should do first. I tried starting my chores by mopping the kitchen floor, only to be 'dirty' again in just a few minutes after I have done. I hate the kitchen. The floor is sticky, smudges everywhere, eventhough I cleaned it daily... and the one (or rather the two) that are guilty as charges...are of course my two kids. Why are this two small kids always knock on their glasses (they spill their drinks at least 5 times a day). Why are they always moving around all day and still be energetic by night. Everyday I hope they sleep early, so that i would have time for myself, to read novel (my long lost hobby), to at least clean the house, or just watch TV. My boy, he's better now, I always send him to bed by 10pm, eventhough with much argument (he is very talkative and have way with words). But this small little girl, my baby, I have trouble getting her to sleep. Last night she only dozed off by midnight, regardless of me keeping the room dark. May be small kids have better eye sight in the dark. :) I am a bad-tempered person, but since I have kids, I learnt to be patience, lots of patience. But sometimes I do blurted out, and felt guilty afterwards.
Anyway, as they sleep, all the tension, depression, exhaustion and even guilt, flies away. They look so peaceful, so innocent, so serene. I can spent hours looking at them, tears running down my cheek sometimes, as I felt guilty if the day ended without me teaching them new things, without me being a good mother. And I pray every night, that ALLAH give me the strengh to be a perfect mum and a perfect wife. Amin.